Solo Student Life

1. The Reality in Numbers

Government labor statistics show that in Japan, men earn on average around ¥5.7 million per year, while women earn roughly ¥3.2 million — about 56% of the male average (Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare, 2024). The wage gap remains at about 24%, even though it has been narrowing in recent years.

Yes, the gap exists. But that doesn’t mean men should always pick up the tab.

2. Dating and Payment Patterns

• A 2023 dating survey found that about two-thirds of men reported paying for the first date, and a similar proportion of women reported being treated.
• Around one-third of women said they preferred to split the bill, while nearly half of men said they wanted to pay more than their date.
• In marriage-focused dating, only about one-quarter of women said they wanted men to cover everything; many preferred an even split or a small extra contribution from the man.

These patterns show that the “men always pay” rule is far from universal.

3. The Myth of “Earning Ability” by Gender

Earning power is shaped by individual skills, career choices, and systemic factors—not by gender itself. Differences in average income are largely due to structural issues like career breaks for childcare, promotion disparities, and industry segregation. They are not proof of biological superiority.

4. The Real Problem: Outdated Social Scripts

The belief that men should pay and women should receive is a leftover from a time when gender roles were rigid. It perpetuates unequal power dynamics and keeps relationships stuck in a provider/receiver framework.

5. My View

Who pays should depend on personal financial situations, relationship dynamics, and mutual agreement—not on the X or Y chromosomes you were born with. Gender-based payment expectations keep us trapped in outdated stereotypes.

6. Final Word

It’s time to move beyond “men pay, women receive.” Equality in modern relationships means both partners contribute in ways that are fair to them—financially, emotionally, and practically.
The check should be split by respect, not by gender.

(Sources: Ministry of Health, Labor and Welfare, 2024; multiple online dating surveys, 2023–2024)